Catholic again

I am feeling extremely moved lately to tell about my religious journey these days, so here it is! I was born and raised Catholic, and attended regularly until I moved to college. I never really questioned being Catholic, or our beliefs, or the teachings of the Church, until I moved out. I went to Baker, a private Methodist University, and I was shocked when I got there and all of my friends seemed to have really enjoyed their churches growing up. They attended summer camps, hung out with their youth groups, had friends at their churches, and basically showed me a whole new side to religion that I had not known was possible.

I attended a few services when I was at Baker, and thought they were okay, but nothing moved me in any certain way. I met Matt, moved back home and went to my family's parish, and didn't feel much one way or another then either. Matt was against being Catholic, and so I agreed to look for an alternative together. We got married, moved to Denver, and I got a job at a Presbyterian Church. I was close to the people there, so I attended services there, but still felt like there was something I was missing. As we have moved around, I continued to try churches, because I do feel that it is extremely important to me to raise my children as active Christians, and I wanted them to see that we all attend together. I have tried regular attendance at 5 different churches over the last 4 years, and still felt that something wasn't fitting for me.

Over the first weekend in January, I went to Mass with my friend Shelly and her boyfriend. It was like being home again! I felt wonderful, the priest seemed as though he was speaking directly to me, the music was familiar, the crucifix was hung and looked beautiful to me, and I decided that I should try Catholicism with a renewed vigor. Since then, I have been attending at St. Monica's Parish, about a mile from my house, and I have only missed 2 Sundays this whole year so far, once for illness and once for Matt's birthday.

I have come to realize that I need to raise my children in a faith that means something to me, and that I am just Catholic at heart. I love the idea of discipline, of focusing on the fact that Christ died for us, and that sins can be forgiven. I have found a new aspect of my Faith as I renew my Catholic beliefs, and discovered that (fortunately) the way Flagstaff Catholics act is actually not the norm. My church growing up was not family friendly, had horrible children's programs, did half the Mass in Spanish, and seemed to disregard the desires of the congregation at whim. We would vote on something, like a name for the new Parish, and they would announce the winner, and then tell us what they were actually going to call it.

It's nice for me to think that I have found a home here. My church has a welcoming feel, a mom's group, children's programs that are age appropriate, and the same core beliefs that I feel are important. I have embraced this wonderful feeling with all my heart, and I am once again proud to announce that I am Catholic, and will remain so forever more. I have given up coffee for Lent, I am observing the Holy Days of Obligation, I am actually really wanting to say the rosary, and I feel closer to God than I ever have.

My personal belief is that there isn't any one particular religion that has all of the answers. I do know now though, that I have to do what I feel deep in my heart and soul, and for me, I have found peace with this decision, and I long to cry it from the mountaintops that I am at peace with God once more!